Trigger warning: This Spotlight post deals with mental illness and self destructive behaviors
I was the Crazy Girl in high school; the Drama Queen, the Weird Chick, the Psycho. Something was wrong with me. I was a ticking time bomb; one minute I would be fine, laughing with friends, the next I would be crying, hysterically in the middle of class, sometimes even causing scenes and yelling. I was frequently triggered, and an easy target to bullies as an adoptive child. People didn't understand me, I didn't understand me. Out of everyone who disliked me, I'm pretty sure I disliked me the most. I was broken; emotional, forgetful, and unfocused.
It wasn't until my adulthood that I would figure out what was actually wrong with me. I had Borderline Personality Disorder, with Dissociative Amnesia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I wasn't the Drama Queen my peers had assumed me to be; I was sick, with mental illness stemming from traumas that have taken place over the course of my twenty-three years of living. My mind doesn't work the way a "healthy" mind would. My mind pushes me to the edge, makes me forget chunks of my life, and on its worst days, makes me suicidal. I'm a sick chick.
For a long time I saw myself as a victim, as many do with mental illness. Mental health is stigmatized, even in this day and age. We, the people with mental illness, are stigmatized everywhere in media; the manic pixie dream girl, the psycho killer, the moody drama queen. We have zero respect from the media, so we have zero respect for ourselves. I started to get tired of calling myself what I saw...even more I was tired of what I was seeing. So, I decided to stop viewing myself as a victim to mental illness, and started calling myself what I really was; a mental warrior.
I spent the past few years building my own empire; speaking out about my mental illness, exposing the truths of my personal life. I didn't want another girl to go through school just thinking she was crazy or over dramatic. I didn't want anyone else to suffer in silence. I wanted to break the stigma. And then I discovered Sick Chicks, a site to empower the girls who are sick. I felt at home reading the articles. I knew I had to be a part of it all.
I am proud to be Sick Chicks new ambassador. I am hoping to help further break the stigma of mental illness, and hoping to help girls speak out about their mental illness, even if it's just to a family member or close friend. I want to help break the stigma; and here, I know we can do it.
Taylor is a 23 year old stay at home mom and author. She is an advocate for mental illness and is a new member of the Sick Chicks team as an Ambassador. Follow her on instagram at @authortaylorjones and on Twitter at @taycowrites.